Saturday, May 28, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 27: Where do I hope to be in 5 years.


Just kidding… I hope.

This question is on every blog challenge list I have seen and it is somewhat your typical cliché topic. I kind of didn’t want to do it but I gave in, as you can tell.

Well right now I am 48 which means I will be 53 in 5 years.  My dad died at the age of 52 so getting to 53 is a goal, a sad and cryptic goal but a goal nonetheless. When my dad was 48 he a 27 and a 29 year old sons.  He was an established architect but was on Disability due to his past heart attack and continuing heart issues.  He was married and divorced 2 times and was in a relationship with my late stepmom, Judy. 

His heart issues and mental issues were due to his service in the Army. The life he lived was hard. While in Vietnam he was captured and tortured. He came back with a lot of problems. He was trained to be an architect and worked for one of the biggest companies in Dallas at the time. I remember being a kid and when it was his time to have me and my brother, we spent it with him at his job.  My brother stayed at home a lot so I would be up there at my dad’s office a lot.  This was the 70’s and life then was shocking compared to today.  They had a bar in the office.  They architects and staff would drink all day, every day.  Friday would be the day the company stocked the bar. It was a legit high level bar. All kinds of liquor and beer.  It was an alcoholics dream. They played softball on Sunday nights so on the weekends I was with my day, I was the batboy.  Or as they called me, the fatboy.  They thought that was funny and even had a jersey made with that on it.  (That is a whole other coming blog to address how that messed me up). 

After drinking all day they would go to happy hour. They all went to a place called “The Roundtable” it was your typical bar with darts and pooltables and a jukebox.  I was there every night my dad was. If not, I would be back at his apartment with no food and just a TV.  Once that place closed they started going to a place called “The Cedar Pub”.  Same deal.  The company he worked for eventually bought “The Centre Racquetball Club” which had a full bar and dinner service.  I pretty much lived there in the summers when I was 8 to 11 years old.

That lifestyle eventually took its toll on my dad and put him in the grave. Once again at 52.

I have not fared much better healthwise, but medicine is so much more advanced that my medical issues are mostly behind me. Getting to 53 should be a breeze. 

But where will I be? What will I have? That is the question. Reality versus hope are 2 different things.

Neither reality nor hope are known when you are talking about the future.  I could die tonight and leave both answered, right?

Here is what I would dream… to be in an amazing job and to be in an amazing relationship.  The job will work itself out.  I will always be working as I am satisfied anywhere that allows me to be happy.

The relationship is the hard part.  When you are a man and you want to be a parent, you could legit father a child at 110 if you lived that long. For a woman, there is a real timetable that exists if you care and focus on the health an well being of the woman.  There are many different thoughts on that but the older a woman gets, the more and more chances of a negative health experience does grow with age.  I know many woman who have said that they will never have a kid past 40, others cut it off at 35.  So being 48 myself, my clock is pretty much blinking 12 on this one. I mean I would need to marry a far younger woman to be a father.  I don’t want to just have a baby momma, I want a wife who is a mother to our child. So the hopes of being a parent is blinking 12 as it is now, so at 53 the clock will be unplugged and tossed in the trash. 

It should have been different.  I blame myself for that. So many missed opportunities.

So where will I be in 5 years?  Working and probably with 134234 cats… or dead.  Or in Vegas at the Glitter Gulch getting a dance from a 70 year old stripper… but probably enjoying then due to both of us being AARP members…

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