Tuesday, May 31, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 30: What I learned the past 30 days.


So what did I learn the past 30 days?  I learned that many people just do not like me.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have some amazing friends.  They are 2-way relationship type friends. They are my meet me half way people. The past 30 days were a test for me. I decided to after reading a quote that said “If they miss you, they’ll call. If they want you, they will say it. If they care, they’ll show it. And if not, they aren’t worth your time.

Now let’s look at some stats. In the last 30 days I got 2 text messages that was sent first and I got zero phone calls that were not spam calls trying to sell me a home security system or something. First let me explain that my crew, my squad, my homies… whatever people call it is not what I am talking about here.  I have ongoing conversations with a handful of people like my friend Dianna. We could be texting like 100 a day that ends with a question then go like 2 or 3 days with nothing then all of a sudden there is a text with the answer. That is normally how that goes.  I have posted blogs and I have received a lot of views and the one with the most views was about putting my nephew’s cat, Georgie down due to a serious illness. Got over 60 views on that.  Now I did post a picture on Instagram of Georgie and I posted the link to the blog on Facebook and got a couple sweet comments but, after over 60 views, I did not get one message of condolence or anything. No “Aww so sorry, hug Max for me”… nothing.  Do people really not give a damn about me?  Proof is in the stats.

Let’s talk about the types of friends in my life….

2-way friends.  I have a few people in my life like Dianna, Melinda, Lyndsay, Maria, Lisa Marie, my boys, Catherine, Brooke and a handful of others.  These type of friends are the goal for any friendship. For example, I can text my friend Maria right now and say that we need to hang out and the response would be “let’s do lunch like Thursday and go record shopping”.  2-way friends are the type who, when someone expresses that they would like to spend some time with them, they respond with “when is a good time for you?”

1 of the text messages I got this month was from my friend Brooke who is on the East Coast. She wanted my address.  I gave it to her.  A few days later I got a card from her telling me that she was thinking about me and wanted to show some love.  Who does that? An amazing friend.

1-way friends. I am not listing names but I have many. These types of friends are not the goal because if one person is doing everything to keep the friendship going then it is not worth the time.  These types are the ones that respond to the “we need to hang out” statement with an “aww we do” and they leave it at that. No “well let’s make that happen, what’s a good day for you?” 1-way friends don’t show up when the chips are down, but get mad when you don’t show up for them. 

Work friends. Now we spend most of our days at work and we make friends there and those friends stay there.  There are ones who move into the 2-way or 1-way or just stay as the work friend. Some of my 2-way friends were made at work. There are prior work friends who don't have my cell but they have been posting comments and showing some love like my friends Pat Kroll and Teresa Gray. They are such good people.  

Haters. We all have them and at times, we are them. They can disguise themselves in the 2-way, 1-way and work friends but ultimately the mask does get pulled off.   

I was told by a former friend that I was a high maintenance friend because of my expectations.  My response was simply that my expectations are based on the ones that were set by this particular friend.

I don't get it really.  Am I wrong to think that friendships are valuable?  That when 2 people decide to be friends and share each others lives in that role, those friendships become valuable?  Is it wrong?? The difference between friends and family is that we choose our friends.  We pick each other out from the group and say that we are friends.  We share stories and emotions.  We support and encourage.  We take the role of having each other's back.  I don't understand why that has to be an issue.

Finding great friends is harder than people may think.  Great friends are the ones that are there in the good times and the bad.  Most seem to be there only in the good.  Like the old saying... a good friend will bail you out of jail.  A great friend will be sitting next to you in the cell.  I have learned this lesson the hard way over the past years.  My stepfather died here in this house.  I did CPR.  It failed.  I failed.  That is how I felt and that is how I still feel about it.  I let everyone know.  I had this expectation.  That expectation that was not totally met.  I sat in that funeral home waiting for my closest friends to walk in and be there for me.  It did not happen.  However my friend Duane, who I had seen only once in the past 20 plus years drove up from Killeen to be there with me and my family.  My friends Sarah and Natalie had me over to Sarah's that night and made dinner and were there for me.  My reassurance in people was saved by them that night.  Is that high maintenance?  To expect people to drop everything and come running when you are in trouble?  Is it wrong to drop everything and listen when someone needs to vent?  If it is in that situation then I have a crapload of high maintenance friends out there because I have done that.  I have driven miles and miles to be there.  I will again.  That is what a friend does.  This is not a call out on anyone.  Just my perspective.

This came up recently with my friend Dianna. Her Grandmother took a turn for the worse and passed away a couple days ago. Their family is very private and during the last days it was family only that was there.  It was not appropriate to pop in. But I texted her daily. I know she was not looking at her phone and reading messages.  She went dark during this time to devote all of her attention to her grandmother. But when she finally did look at her phone she was able to see that a friend was praying for her and loving her and willing to do what was needed if asked. I wanted her to know that she was not alone. That is what a friend does.

What I ask for in a friend is to live up to the expectation that you set.  I am pretty flexible on this but the expectations have to be realistic.  I don't think having to takes sides or choose a belief because one friend wants you to do that over another friend is realistic.  Nor do I think it is fair.  It is like one friend telling me to stop being friends with another friend because they like "Hello Kitty" too much... No one has that authority over me.

Sometimes things come up but it is just as easy to cancel a plan as much as it is to set it.  Heck if you fail to show for your doctor's appointment, the doctor will charge you a fee.  So to avoid it, we call and cancel or change.  No big deal.  No harm, no foul.  But why is it wrong to expect the same from a friend.  Like saying, "let's meet for dinner next week"....  "Ok let's do that. You pick the day since I have no schedule issues."  "ok I will call or text you tomorrow and let you know."  The expectation is now set.  One friend is now in charge to call or text about it.  Well then there is nothing.  No call.  No text.  Nada...  Is it wrong to be bothered by that?  For me I think the friend who failed that expectation is not considerate.  I don't believe it is high maintenance of me.  I think it is the natural reaction to a failed expectation.

I had a friend that wanted to meet for Pho last week.  We set a day and time. Well first thing that morning, before I even woke up, she texted me and said she was assigned to train someone for the rest of the week and she needed to postpone. She was considerate to me and my time.  Well Friday morning she texted and said that she did not have to train and wanted to see if I wanted to meet that day. She apologized for it being short notice but she wanted to see me. Well I had a thing so I couldn’t do it but she showed me that she did want to see me. That was considerate.

At my last job the biggest complaint from customers was that the set expectation was not made.  No follow up that was expected, was completed.  Customers got upset and gave bad service scores.  Sometimes there are things that come up that keep you from meeting the expectation.  The simple solution is communication.  Even if that communication comes well after the fact in a form of an apology.  Does it fix the missed expectation?  No.  But it may ease the impact of it.

The issue here is that "oh he will get over it" attitude that I don't like.  No, I will not get over it if I am left hanging.  Communication of some kind can ease the situation.  I don't believe it is high maintenance.  I believe it is a basic request.   I may be wrong on this but when a friend asks me to drop everything and come running, I do.  I guess I am high maintenance like that.

So many times people talk about cleaning out their Facebook friends list of people they really don’t know or people they only met once that they friended.  I have been “cleaned out” of some lists myself. I am not sure if I am going to do that but I know I will not waste another moment on inconsiderate people who don’t want to appreciate when someone is willing to give them time. I thought about just changing my number and blocking people from my life. Like they always say “Time is valuable”.  I am no angel, that’s for sure.  I have not been a good friend at times myself. No one is perfect. I don’t expect perfection from anyone.  I expect consideration and honesty.  Is that so wrong to expect?

“Choose who you spend time with wisely. Life is too short to waste your valuable time with the wrong people” – Joel Osteen via Twitter

Monday, May 30, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 29: Have I ever had surgery/been hospitalized? If so, why?


Duh. If you have read my blogs then you know this to be a fact.

There is a list, small one thankfully, but there is one.

So let’s go in a particular order.

I was able to survive my childhood with never breaking a bone or having any significant issues. 

1.  Post high school I snapped my left ankle pretty good so I still have problems with it to this day.

2. I had a motorcycle accident in college and punctured the lower left leg and calf muscle.  It left a nice scar and my left calf muscle is about half what it normally should be.

Now stuff gets real.

3. January of 2007 was the heart attack. It was vicious. I had a Stent procedure done and half my heart was stented. 

4. February of 2007 was the second half of my heart’s stent procedure.

5. August of 2007 I had 4 wisdom teeth cut out. It was an outpatient surgery where they put me under to cut them out.

6. January of 2008 was a weird moment for me.  I was walking out of a Walmart and when the door opened my right ear starting ringing and it would not stop.  As I was driving home, I started to get dizzy and the noise grew louder in louder in my right ear.  Got home and tried some ear wax remover to see if that was it. It didn’t work.  I started to freak out so I told my mom I needed to go to the hospital. I was having a panic attack and thought it was a heart attack.  I went to the ER and my heart was fine. They checked me and said I was having vertigo. At that point I lost hearing in my right ear.  After a CAT scan it was determined that a nerve snapped in my ear and the hearing is gone forever. It sucks.

7. April of 2009. I was overweight… a lot over.  My cardiologist, PCP and Endocrinologist suggested I take major action to lose a lot of weight rapidly. It was serious as my heart was not enjoying trying to work with such a big ass.  So I went to a weight loss doctor and went thru a 90 day process and determined the Lap Band was the best method.  So under direction of all my doctors I had the procedure done.  Well it never worked.  I either had it filled and could not eat, literally starved, or it was loosened and it never restricted food. Turns out the doctor set it too high so it had no impact. I ended up getting a large needle and jammed it into the port and emptied the band completely so I could function.

Now this is where SHIT REALLY GETS REAL…

8. Last summer I decided I wanted to have the lap band removed because it caused physical pain.  If I bent over too far the port would flip and it was like having a stomach cramp with needles attached.  I would have to physically reset it and that was worse. A friend used a weight loss doctor and suggested I go to him.  So I went.  They were pretty strict on their process due to my prior heart procedures, so they did stomach x-rays where I had to drink barium and all.  It was gross. Next I had to do an Upper GI.  This is where the issues started. 

So I went in for the Upper GI. It was quick.  When I woke up and waited for my ride they had me sign forms because they found tumors and needed to biopsy them and needed my approval to get them tested. They said if there were any issues, they would call.

The Thursday of the following week was my last day before PTO as I was flying to NYC the next morning for a weekend getaway with a friend before my Training class the next week in Hartford.  So I am at work and on the phone and get a local call. I could not answer it and whoever called did not leave a message.  So when I got off the phone and googled it, it was the Forest Park Medical Center where I had the MRI done. I called and said I missed a call. The lady said there should have been a voicemail message but there wasn’t. So I called the fat doctor to see if there were issues and was told that they have not received my results back so as of now, no issues.

I went to NYC and then Hartford for the following week.  When I got back almost another week passed when I decided to call my fat doctor.  They told me they had been calling me daily and I said I had never received a call or missed call. I confirmed my number and they had transposed 2 numbers.  I was like “really?”  So anyway, they put me on the phone with the Tech and I was told I needed to come in ASAP.  I was like, “I am at work you can tell me now.” She said no and told me again that I needed to come in. At this point I am getting pissed.  You cannot transpose a contact number and have some apparent important info and not at least email a brother.

So after almost cussing her out she finally gives in and tells me “The biopsies came back positive on your tumors.”  So needless to say I drove right over. So I get there and they show me the results and pictures of what was going on and we started the process to get to surgery.  I had to do a sleep study then a stress test before things could be authorized.  They told me they could remove the band and do chemo/radiation to get the tumors dealt with since they were in a small cluster and it was very early in development. I had uncles die from stomach cancer so I declined that option and went for the removal.

So under the direction of an oncologist and my fat doctor, they removed about 90% of my stomach via surgery similar to the gastric sleeve procedure.  They were able to leave just enough to form a tube so I could have some relatively normal functions.  They tested all the tissue cut out and there was no spreading or growth outside the cluster so there was nothing further that needed to be done.  It has caused a lot of negative side effects.  I have to take a zillion pills a day and if I eat sugar I get seriously sick. I have to drink a lot of liquid protein daily and water.  I have lost a lot of weight which is ultimately the healthiest path for me.

I did not let many people know about all this as it was something that I figured would not be as big of a deal as people would make it out to be plus too many people in my life freak out over little crap. I told my job since I was going to miss work. It cost me a ton of money. Between the $2500 deductible and around $14,000 in non-covered bills, it has been difficult.  But all in all, I am alive and that is the point.  

Sunday, May 29, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 28: If I could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?


Shaming.

Shaming it was it is called now but the practice has been going on for ages. It was called “dissing” or “belittling” or “humiliating” or “embarrassing”.  No matter what it is called, it is a horrible practice and it is so much worse today due to social media. The end results are definitely the same tough.

This is a personal issue for me and it is the subject of my next book as it has defined every part of me.  As I mentioned in my Day 27 blog, there were moments where this happened to me while growing up that have so negatively impacted who I am today.

First, as I spoke on this before, I did not grow up in the normal and traditional household.  We did not have money, we did not have nice things and we did not have the best clothes. My mom raised me and my brother as a single parent.  My dad was around on the typical weekends and some extended time in the summers. He never paid child support and we did suffer due to that. Looking back on what he was going through as an alcoholic and as someone living the 70’s lifestyle, I can now understand how responsibility was not a strong suit.

Being from a single parent household and not having much money, we did not eat, what we call today, a nutritious diet. My mom worked the night shift at low paying jobs.  We lived in a house owned by one of my aunts and she would watch us while my mom was at work.  We ate typical Mexican family foods, lots of beans and beans and beans.  Needless to say I was a chubby kid. I went to an elementary school in the upper middle class area of Irving, which was just outside of where we lived.  I should have went to another school but my mom wanted me and my brother to stay at that school since we started there.  I spoke about it before but there were 3 other Mexican kids in my grade and we were segregated a lot. I was on the government assisted lunch card program since we were low income.  Being that kid in an upper middle class school as not the best place to be.  It was bad enough that we had to stand in the back of the line and get cold sack lunches if they ran out of food, but we were made fun of… a lot. I remember being called “fat poor kid” and “ugly” and many other things. Kids back then were cruel too. I did not understand it. 

I remember field trips and how much I dreaded them if they were all day trips. All day trips required either bringing a sack lunch from home or money for them to pay for your lunch. If you brought money you would be able to buy like a McDonald’s meals or something like that. I remember one trip so vividly. I told my mom that we needed either money or a sack lunch to take so she made me a sandwich. Well we didn’t have turkey or ham and Wonder Bread, so she made a meat patty with cheese on regular bread. We didn’t have hamburger buns.  She packed some chips in a sandwich bag and put it all in a paper sack.  By the time I got to school, the grease soaked the bag. Some of the kids made fun of it and laughed at my expense.  It was honestly the first time I remember feeling embarrassed and ashamed. As lunch approached, almost everyone had money so they could buy a burger meal. I sat out of sight as much as I could and I honestly hid my lunch out of embarrassment.  I was a damn 3rd grader… sitting out of sight… fighting tears… trying to figure out why I was so weird… trying to figure out why everyone was making fun of me. That was the first time I felt shame.

Later during the lunch time was the one few moments where I felt saved from the shame.  There was this kid from another class who came and sat by me and asked “did you bring money or did you bring a sack lunch?”  I pulled out my greasy bag and showed it to him.  He asked what I had and I told him it was like a hamburger but on regular bread and that I had some chips too.  He looked at me and said, “Wow, that looks good, want to trade?”  (tears in my eyes right now because I am remembering this moment so vividly).  I said sure. So he gave me his burger bag and I gave him mine.  He opened it up and started eating. He kept saying how it was so much better than the stupid burgers everyone else had. When he finished he got up and left.  I never saw him again. No one made fun of me the rest of that day from what I remember, or I just didn’t care. In my time of shame, someone came in and snatched it away.

Later on in my early life I would spend my summers with my dad.  Some days I stayed at his apartment with my brother.  My dad would leave us money and would tell us to walk to the 7-11 to get food. The first time we went there and had real money we bought candy and cokes because we never got much of that. We did that every day. I would get tired of it and want real food but my brother was in charge of the money so we got candy and cokes most days. My dad would call later in the day to check on us and I would tell him I was hungry. He would tell me that I should have eaten already and would tell me how fat I was already. Many days he would stumble home from a day of drinking at work and post work happy hours and he would either have fast food for us or would take us to get fast food. That was my diet. I would eat as often and as much as I could because I was not eating regularly.  I was a fat and unhealthy kid.  It seemed to be a joke.  Like “look at his fat little kid!” Like I mentioned in the Day 27 post, my dad’s company had a softball team and I was the Batboy.  They had jerseys made up and I had one that had “fat boy” on the back. People would laugh at me all the time. Once again… I was a third grade kid… Who does that to a kid that age?

I grew up never knowing I had value.  I was ashamed of who I was because I was conditioned to be that way by the people who would shame me in school and in life. From family to classmates to older people who thought it was funny to make fun of a friend’s fatboy.  I never gave myself credit.

I was always the chubby kid as I went through school. When I played football in junior high and high school, I was always a lineman.  I remember in high school they wanted us to bulk up so we would be the biggest team.  They would tell to eat all day and often.  The summer of my junior year I was 5 foot 6 and 181 pounds. Back then if you were a lineman in high school and weighed over 200 pounds, you were considered huge.  In comparison, there are 300 to 350 pound linemen in high schools now.  I was a dumpy 181 though.  I was soft. Everyone was calling me fat all the time. I would go to family things and there would always be “there goes Richard to get food!” It was non-stop. It was like I was an embarrassment… and that was family.  In school, it was the same in many ways. I always felt like I was fat and ugly.  That is what I was called growing up so why would I believe different? 

Funny thing is I am 5 foot 7 now and if I weighed 181 pounds now people would call me skinny.  Amazing how that is.

My weight was always an issue because food was my comfort.  When people treated me like crap, I would eat.  When someone would call me “ugly” or “fat” or any other derogatory name, I would eat. I became the funny fat guy. Ask anyone, I am the guy at the party or happy hour that is making people laugh.  People tell me all the time that I should do stand up. Being shamed my entire life pushed me to defense mechanisms. Either being funny or being the guy who would eat anything or whatever. All of my health issues were caused by that lifestyle.  My heart attack, my stomach issues I had last year.  Everything negative health wise was due to me needing comfort from the pains that names caused.

But there are other things that are damaged by the shame game and the biggest and hardest to get over is what it did to me mentally. 

There is a Catch-22 with this side of it because it starts a cycle that you cannot escape from. Trying to get over one shame has led to another.  Trying to be the funny guy leads to people not taking me serious.  And when I get serious, I get called “mental” or “dramatic”.  I try too hard and I try too fast.  When I meet people I just try too hard to be their friend and it seems to end badly because when I stop being the crazy, funny, let’s do something exciting guy, and try to be real, people don’t seem to like it. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard “dude, stop being so serious” or “you are being too dramatic” and my favorite “can’t you just be funny?” I get defensive because I am a real person with real feelings and real problems.  In my “trying too hard” style, I do so much for others.  If someone calls and needs something, I jump right on it. If someone needs to vent, I am there to listen and give advice. But I never seem to get it back. If I don’t reach out to people first, then there is never contact. Now I have lifelong friends who are always there for me.  It is a small circle and I will talk about the whole friendship deal in my Day 30 blog to come.

  The biggest issue out there now is shaming.  Kids are shamed behind the scenes like never before. They are cyber bullied by people hiding behind keyboards. If you came up and got in my face and called me “fat” or “ugly” now, I would destroy you physically.  But now kids are called everything and anything and treated horribly. It is an epidemic that many times starts right at home.  Children are so valuable. No matter their look or economic background, every single kid is valuable and should be treated as such and that should start at home. Shaming in any way should not be tolerated.  Every single day a child takes his or her life over it. Is that not a clear and present sign that there are problems?  Back when I was in high school in the 80’s I remember that there was one kid who attempted suicide and thankfully failed.  Today I doubt there is one kid in high that has not been touched by suicide in one way or another.  Many kids don’t even reach out anymore because even that is shamed or not believed… well until it is too late.

I have a friend and her daughter reached out to her and told her that she felt like she had no friends and was having issues in school.  My friend loves her daughter.  She posted on Facebook and asked her friends to help her with a project. She asked us to write her daughter a letter/email and share our experiences when we were in school.  So many of us took to our laptops and shared our stories so we could help boost her and show her that she was not alone and that she had people who cared for her.  Who does that?  A good parent who listens when her child reaches out.

So if I could rid the world of one thing, it would be shaming. Why? Because it is something that call ruin lives.  It is something that can hamper emotional growth and it is something that will take a life. 

If someone reaches out to you… someone of any age… listen and try to help. Don’t patronize and start the cycle over again. Once again, listen and try to help.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 27: Where do I hope to be in 5 years.


Dead.

Just kidding… I hope.

This question is on every blog challenge list I have seen and it is somewhat your typical cliché topic. I kind of didn’t want to do it but I gave in, as you can tell.

Well right now I am 48 which means I will be 53 in 5 years.  My dad died at the age of 52 so getting to 53 is a goal, a sad and cryptic goal but a goal nonetheless. When my dad was 48 he a 27 and a 29 year old sons.  He was an established architect but was on Disability due to his past heart attack and continuing heart issues.  He was married and divorced 2 times and was in a relationship with my late stepmom, Judy. 

His heart issues and mental issues were due to his service in the Army. The life he lived was hard. While in Vietnam he was captured and tortured. He came back with a lot of problems. He was trained to be an architect and worked for one of the biggest companies in Dallas at the time. I remember being a kid and when it was his time to have me and my brother, we spent it with him at his job.  My brother stayed at home a lot so I would be up there at my dad’s office a lot.  This was the 70’s and life then was shocking compared to today.  They had a bar in the office.  They architects and staff would drink all day, every day.  Friday would be the day the company stocked the bar. It was a legit high level bar. All kinds of liquor and beer.  It was an alcoholics dream. They played softball on Sunday nights so on the weekends I was with my day, I was the batboy.  Or as they called me, the fatboy.  They thought that was funny and even had a jersey made with that on it.  (That is a whole other coming blog to address how that messed me up). 

After drinking all day they would go to happy hour. They all went to a place called “The Roundtable” it was your typical bar with darts and pooltables and a jukebox.  I was there every night my dad was. If not, I would be back at his apartment with no food and just a TV.  Once that place closed they started going to a place called “The Cedar Pub”.  Same deal.  The company he worked for eventually bought “The Centre Racquetball Club” which had a full bar and dinner service.  I pretty much lived there in the summers when I was 8 to 11 years old.

That lifestyle eventually took its toll on my dad and put him in the grave. Once again at 52.

I have not fared much better healthwise, but medicine is so much more advanced that my medical issues are mostly behind me. Getting to 53 should be a breeze. 

But where will I be? What will I have? That is the question. Reality versus hope are 2 different things.

Neither reality nor hope are known when you are talking about the future.  I could die tonight and leave both answered, right?

Here is what I would dream… to be in an amazing job and to be in an amazing relationship.  The job will work itself out.  I will always be working as I am satisfied anywhere that allows me to be happy.

The relationship is the hard part.  When you are a man and you want to be a parent, you could legit father a child at 110 if you lived that long. For a woman, there is a real timetable that exists if you care and focus on the health an well being of the woman.  There are many different thoughts on that but the older a woman gets, the more and more chances of a negative health experience does grow with age.  I know many woman who have said that they will never have a kid past 40, others cut it off at 35.  So being 48 myself, my clock is pretty much blinking 12 on this one. I mean I would need to marry a far younger woman to be a father.  I don’t want to just have a baby momma, I want a wife who is a mother to our child. So the hopes of being a parent is blinking 12 as it is now, so at 53 the clock will be unplugged and tossed in the trash. 

It should have been different.  I blame myself for that. So many missed opportunities.

So where will I be in 5 years?  Working and probably with 134234 cats… or dead.  Or in Vegas at the Glitter Gulch getting a dance from a 70 year old stripper… but probably enjoying then due to both of us being AARP members…

Friday, May 27, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 26: My Dream Job.


Outside of being a world famous author or a TV Comedy writer or an actor… the real dream job for me would be to be a trainer.

I have spent most of my career in positions where I have had to train people or mentor and I have been very successful at it. I have taken many people under my wing and given them opportunities to succeed.  Many of them have become leaders in their industries now.  Many are far more successful than I could ever have dreamed of. There are some who are high level figures who make crazy incomes. I am not jealous of that, I am actually proud. I have had a few people come to me and tell me that if it were not for me and how I helped them, they would not be where they are now.  That’s the best compliment to hear.

I decided long ago that I wanted to be that guy. The guy who would do what he could to make other around him better.  This started back when I got my first real job.  I was a part time collection rep.  It was a crap job but it was a foot in the door. The President of the company was a guy named Richard as well. He noticed that I was really working hard to learn my job and to be great at it.  He eventually offered me a full time job in a position that was way over my head.  I was going to be doing things that I did not understand.  He pulled me in his office and told me that he wanted me to succeed and that he would work with me to understand my position.  I would meet with him weekly and he would go through my work and give me pointers and advice on how to work better and more efficient. I learned a lot from him and he really set me on a path that was all about learning and adapting.  I eventually progressed into better opportunities and was put in charge of training people to use the system we worked with.

I spent many years in the auto finance industry.  I worked in credit and funding and internal audit. I was usually in a senior roll or a manager.  I focused on being the type of manager that would have made my first boss proud.  I made sure people were trained to use the system properly and to do their job efficiently. My goal was to make sure that anyone who wanted to progress and grow had the skill level to do it. Like I said, there are many successful people out there that I helped to get started.

I have worked with good people and bad ones.  I have trained good and bad as well. It’s easy to figure out who is in it to progress and who is in it for a paycheck. I have been put in charge of both kinds. Training the paycheck people is just as easy.  I learned a long time ago that most paycheck workers have never been motivated because they do not see growth potential.  I ended up being like that when I worked at Liberty.  I mentored some people there who are managers now. I could never progress there because I did not have college degree. At the time you could not qualify for many opportunities because you did not have a degree.  There were places I wanted to go within that company but it just wasn’t going to happen.  It made me sad leaving because the people I met there were damn good people. I am friends with more Liberty people than I am with Travelers people. I have friends for life from Liberty.

I will say at my most recent job I was given great opportunities to mentor and train.  I actually became a certified trainer. I trained so many people locally and at other offices. I took pride in that. There will be future leaders there that will be able to look back and see who really helped them get their start in commercial claims. Unfortunately my efforts were not as appreciated as I thought they should so I ended that relationship. 

I still believe I have plenty to offer and I will be out there again looking for the best opportunity that will take me from here to retirement.  I never set out to be the CEO because I know my place. I am content with being that person that would be completely happy as a full time trainer.  Traveling to other cities and living out of suitcases. Long days on my feet. Long hours on planes.  Long days of prep and planning. It was what I enjoyed doing and hopefully will get to do again.  Or I can just become an actor.   

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 25: What’s in My Wallet?


This is simple since I have my wallet with me. Ha.

1. Cash. Got $26 in $2 bills.  I am going to just hand them out eventually.

2. My debit card.

3. 2 credit cards.

4. My Hilton Honors Card.

5. A picture of my German Sheppard, Willie.  I always carry it. He was my favorite pet.

6. My Forever Young Record Discount card. I am 1 record purchase away from a $20 discount.

7. A Blank check.

8. Social Security card.

9. Funeral card from my Stepmother’s funeral.

10. A note my friend Nicole wrote me a couple years ago when I was in Hartford. She told me to hold onto it until I saw her again and she would write me another one.

11. My Driver’s License.

12. My Texas Insurance License.

13. My Austin Avenue frequent drinker card.

And that is it.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 24: A Current Issue. (Foul Language Warning)


BE ADVISED THAT THERE COULD BE FOUL LANGUAGE SPOKEN HERE - Well here goes the controversy…  

Well the topic of the news, outside of Trump vs Hillary, is all the issues people have with the LGBT community.  First people were mad just because people are gay. Then people got mad because they want to get married.  Then, God forbid, they wanted equal rights in all aspects of life like making medical decisions for their partner when needed. Now people are up in arms because Transgenders want to be able to pee when they are out.

Are you shitting me?  God forbid someone wants to pee or shit when they are out. 

First let’s talk about the first point.  Some people on this planet are gay.  They are born that way. Get past it and get over it.  Unlike assholes, they are born that way.  They didn’t “learn” it.  Yes there are some people that “dabble” with it in college when they are drunk and blah, blah, blah. But you need to realize that gay people exist and they are free to be who they are.

Gay marriage.  Why is this an issue?  Gay people want to get married.  So?  Here is something you need to really consider and I challenge you to educate yourself and talk to you gay friend...  You most likely have one… ask yourself this question, if you get past the first point that there are gay people in this world, if someone is gay and they want to get legally married, WHO will they marry?  Will a gay man marry a straight woman just so he can be married?  Oh it has happened but come on, who will they marry? I am a straight man and I want to eventually get married, so I will marry a woman.  Wow. Shocker. But if I were gay and met someone I wanted to spend my life with, I would want to marry that person.  Guess what, if I were gay in this situation I would want to marry my gay man partner. Wow. Shocker AGAIN!  Educate yourself. 

Now I understand the bible beaters that will throw out the whole “it’s Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve!!!” Although you are proud of your bumper sticker statement there, you are no one’s judge.  If being gay is a sin then the sinner will be judged by God.  Thinking YOU are God is a sin all in itself you false idol you… Do you think getting a divorce is a sin?  Do you think cheating on your spouse is a sin?  I know married people who do it all the time.  The biggest gay marriage bashers I have seen on social media have a few divorces under their belts. Why try to ban a gay couple from experiencing your “happiness”.  One person on my Facebook is such a basher of gay marriage and I think it is because he is jealous.  He is such a super dickhead that no one, gay or straight, would even date him, let alone marry the jerk.  I blocked his bigoted ass a long time ago.

The other fact is that it is now the law.  Agree or disagree, as a law abiding citizen of this country you should abide by the law.  You should also just mind your own business and worry about you and your own life but that’s neither here nor there.

Now the whole transgender bathroom deal. First, really?  Second, really?  Third, are you shitting me again?

This is such a big deal right now and I am trying to figure out why.  Transgender people have existed for years and years and years. I am wondering if this was all just and election year deal.  I mean some people went crazy off over it.  I know with Bruce turning to Caitlyn put it out there but was that it?  Was that such a shocker to our humanity?  Now most of our Transgender friends are not as “lucky” as Caitlyn to have the money and fame to hire stylists and security and all that.  Many Transgender people still have to fly below the radar to navigate this world where they could be harmed physically and mentally by the less understanding and uninformed.  I have a friend since like first grade who is a Transgender.  When he announced that he was now a she, I was happy that she was able to be who she was meant to be. I bet her friends list became smaller but it’s just Facebook and it has proven to not be real life. I mean I have been unfriended and blocked and I did not disappear, to the sadness of many apparently.

The headline issue about this is that apparently if your kid goes into a bathroom with a Transgender, they are instantly molested.  Uh, been to Subway lately? 

Here is a fact, most molesters don’t dress up as the opposite sex to molest a kid. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen but Subway Fogle was raping little boys and girls and was paying for someone to send them to him.  I don’t recall him being in a Prada dress when he was raping little boys.  He, along with many sick bastards like him, was raping as often as he could and was not doing it in the bathroom.  Yes, I do not want a molester in the bathroom with my kid.  A molester I said… But guess what I do, when I am with Max at the movies and he needs to go to the bathroom, I go with him!  Now it would be different if he was a little girl. I have been at the ballpark or restaurant where a dad has to come into the men’s bathroom with his little girl. I have always heard the man tell his girl to keep her eyes closed and I have always seen the men at the urinals concealing themselves as she passes. It is what respectful people do.  I have never seen some dude whip his junk around at the little girl.  Mainly because the rest of us would kick an ass quick. 

I knew a child molester.  Father Rudy Kos.  Look him up.  He didn’t wear a dress, he wore a collar. 

Now I do get that there is an issue with schools.  And I get it because I was a horny high school kid.  If all I needed to say was that I identified as a female so I could go into the girls bathroom to see if the carpets matched the drapes, I would probably have done so because, once again, I was a stupid horny high school kid.  There needs to be open and honest education and dialog in our schools. When I was in high school there were gay kids. No one knew they existed back then because it was a different time, but there were.  Now kids are comfortable enough to be open and out as who they are.  There are still struggles but it is not like it was when I was in school. I don’t know if there are openly Transgender kids in schools out there.  According to the crazy press there are thousands upon thousands in every single school. 

Although the times are different, there is not 100% safety for kids in schools who are openly gay and they do need to be allowed to be safe.  There needs to be something in place to allow for their protection and safety in bathrooms and locker rooms.  I don’t know what that is, I am no expert at all.  But what I do know is assuming that every gay or Transgender is just “acting” so they can creep in bathrooms to molest kids is naïve and just plain ignorant.  Creepers have always been out there.  And they will continue to be.  But ask yourself the questions, would you rather trust your kid to be in a public bathroom with Caitlyn Jenner or Jared Fogle?  I will bet you a $5 footlong that I already know the answer…

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 23: My Favorite Quotes


Here are a few of my favorites…

“If she is amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she is worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, You’re not worthy… Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley.

“At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life” - unknown

“I think that if you go through life and no one hates you, then that means you’re not good at anything.” – Triple H

“Don’t tell me what was said about me. Tell me why they were so comfortable to say it to you.” – unknown

“Don’t tell me what they said about me… until you can tell me what you said to defend me.” – Unknown

“Hard work pays off, dreams come true, bad things don’t last, but Bad Guys do.” – Scott Hall

“If you want to test a man’s character give him power” – Abraham Lincoln

“Who are you to judge the life I live? I am not perfect and I don’t have to be! Before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean”. – Bob Marley
"Torch the ships!" - Cortes

Monday, May 23, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 22: Embarrassing Moments


Trying to think back to some times where I embarrassed myself or just found myself in an embarrassing situation.  I got 3.  Oh there are many more but you only get 3.

1.  High school.  So it was my senior year and I was walking into school.  There were a ton of people hanging out at the front door and several were cheerleaders.  One that I liked in particular.  Well the big thing for guys to wear where penny loafers.  Shiny maroon penny loafers.  Well this guy happened to score him a pair and that was the day I was going to wear them to school for the first time.  I had the cuffs on my jeans rolled right, because we were cool like that, and I had my loafers on with a shiny penny in each.  I got dropped off in the parking lot and started my strut towards the front door.  People looking at me because I was doing everything to get their attentions.  As I stepped off the center curb onto the pavement the one problem with penny loafers that no one told me about, came to pass. The bottom of these shoes are slick as lube on glass.  I stepped, my left foot decided it was time to slide out from under me in a violent and supernaturally fast fashion. My leg shot up like a Radio City Rockette and I flipped right on my back. Both legs flew up, ass in the air, books and papers everywhere like I was carrying a hand grenade. It the classic feet flying out from under you, flip on your back moment. I may have farted pretty loud too but I played that off like a champ.

2. One of those “you are so fat” days.  So a long time ago I worked in North Richland Hills but lived in Garland.  That was a serious commute.  Like an hour with no traffic.  One night I was walking out to my car and as I fumbled for my keys to open the door, I ended up dropping them.  I bent over to get them and my pants ripped right at the crack.  I heard it, I felt the breeze on my junk.  It was an epic rip.  I was more angry than embarrassed.  They were a new pair of pants and I was fat and they were tight.  I go so mad that when I sat in my car I reached down into my crotch and grabbed the tear and yanked it, tearing my pants even more.  I swear I was damn near just in my underwear, I tore them that much.  I didn’t care.  The house I lived in had a garage. I could get home, park in the garage and shut the door and walk right in. No one would see me. So I started my drive home.  I would take 183 from NRH to Irving then cut across at the old Texas Stadium to Northwest Highway and take that all the way to Garland. What my dumbass self did not realize until I got on Northwest Highway is that I was almost out of gas.  Like the light was flashing and there was no way in hell I could make it home without stopping. Now this was back in the day where you had to go in and pay for gas.  I had no other covering in the car. It was summer so it was not like I could wrap my coat around my exposed fat ass. Well I pulled over at a 7-11.  Bit my pride in the exposed ass.  Walked in, grabbed a 12 pack of beer and walked to the counter.  Of course there was some damn convention in that place too… I walked up and said “it’s been one of those days and 20 on number 3”.  Walked to the car, gassed up. Heard a honk or 2… drove home and drank beer.

3.  My recent Vegas trip.  Now the past trip was the best ever, as detailed in a prior post, but I did not talk about this moment because I saw this topic coming.  The band I was watching was playing on the big stage on Fremont Street.  Right next to that stage is the Glitter Gulch. Now the Glitter Gulch is famous for the neon cowgirl sign.  One thing going on are the pictures that pop up on the signs by the door.  The women in those pictures are supermodel types.  I mean they sell you on going in.  I was talking to my new Vegas friend, Vegas Rob and asked him about it.  He told me to never go in.  He warned me.  My friend, Carrie Ann, said the same. Do not go in there.  Well the concert ended and I started my walk back to the hotel.  As I am passing the Glitter Gulch a woman comes out and stands at the entrance. She was gorgeous! Right in front of her were these 2 very endowed ladies dressed in Showgirl costumes taking pictures with anyone who wanted one.  Their outfits consisted of tiny bikini bottoms and paint.  That was it.  So I walk by and make eye contact with the girl at the door and I asked her if those 2 girls worked there and she said no.  She said they could not cut it in there.  I was like, wow… those 2 where amazing so the women inside the Gulch must me even more.  So, against all advice, I go in.  The girl tells me there is no cover but a 2 drink minimum.  She walked me in, sat me at the stage and took my drink order and walked away.  I look up and there were 3 girls on the stage. Amazing, hot, gorgeous even in stripclub lights, girls.  So there I am and out the corner of my eye I see the waitress coming up and she was pulling a blonde behind her.  I did not get a good look but did see that the girl passed behind then I felt her sit down to my left.  I pay for my drinks and the waitress says “I brought your girl to you.” I said “my girl???” and she says “yes, we assign you a girl so you enjoy yourself”.  Well, thankfully I had a few drinks in me already so my ability to react was delayed.  I turn to my left to see my “girl”…. Not lying one bit… but she has to be at least 70.  I swear!! Like I said I didn’t react, thankfully.  So she starts talking to me like a typical girl trying to get your money… “Hey handsome, how are you baby?  You come here often?” I was like, “no, I am from Texas so this is my first time.”  Well she drops her top and shakes her moneymakers at me and says “welcome to Vegas!” At this point reality has set in and I know I am in trouble.  So I tell her I was just there to have a couple beers before I head to my hotel and I just wanted to tip the girls dancing in front of me.  I tried and tried to get away but it was no use.  I knew the only way was to either just run or get a dance.  I didn’t want to be rude so I tell her that I need 2 things, an ATM and a bathroom. So she takes my hand and drags me off towards the bathroom.  So she has on granny panties that had to be bedazzled… huge granny support bra… stockings… that where bedazzled too… serious varicose veins… like they had interstate logos on them.  She was a large woman as well.  Now she is dragging me behind her like a kid who was going to go get spanked by his great great GREAT grandmother.  She leads me to the bathroom and tells me “there you go handsome, I will be waiting for you right here”… there was a guy walking in behind me and we ended up at the urinals.  He is giggling.  I look over and say “well at least there was no cover!” and we both laugh.  He told me to do whatever I could to escape. 

So here is my saving grace.  My bank does a nightly audit where they shut down the system for like an hour.  This happens from 4 to 5am Texas time.  I go to the ATM with granny standing behind me.  It told me that the system was unavailable.  Tried it a couple times with the same result.  So I showed her the slip and found my escape plan.  I gave her 1 of the beers and tell her that there is an ATM right outside that I used earlier and to wait while I go get cash.  She agreed.  So I bolted.  I get to the door and the bouncer stops me.  I was like crap!! Let me escape.  He told me that I had to pour the beer in a plastic cup so I did.  I literally walked out and dropped it Michael Bay Action movie style and totally ran back to my hotel.  I came up to the street light and it was red so I had to wait.  I felt like granny was chasing me.  I could not jaywalk since there was a cop right there.  I got into the hotel and ran through the casino and got to the elevator.  I think I pressed that button 2234524545 times.  I got to the 7th floor, ran as soon as the doors opened.  Went to my room, locked the door and hid in a corner. 

Sunday, May 22, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 21: My Favorite Teacher and Why.


There is actually a tie for this.  There were plenty of influential teachers who were amazing at their craft and their impact on my life was felt.  From English teachers to History to Coaches to band directors, but there were 2 that impacted me far more than the others.

First was my third grade teacher, Mrs. Aycock.  Now let me set the scene.  When I was in third grade I went to Paul Keyes Elementary.  At the time this was an upper middle class area of Irving and the school population was 99% white.  There were 3 other Mexican kids in the Third grade.  Raul and Leticia Sosa and Joseph Castro.  Raul and Leticia did not speak English and me and Joseph did not speak Spanish.  They made us sit in the back of the class when we first started.  At lunch we had to wait at the back of the line because we were on government assisted lunch programs so they wanted the paying kids to get the hot meals.  We sat at a separate table as well.  I didn’t know what or why but that is how it was.

I have talked about this all before but me and my brother were latch key kids.  We walked home from school and fed ourselves and stayed until our mom got home from work.  Our dad was not really around at all and did not pay child support so we did not have much.  We did not have good clothes and I was a dirty stinky kid. I had friends and all but I was not all amazing as I am today. Ha. 

I remember it was close to the Christmas Break and the school was going to take all of us to see a play that was being put on by the drama department at MacArthur High School.  Looking back, those kids seemed like old adults. The school sent home permission slips and requested that the students be in dressy clothes. Sunday Church stuff.  I didn’t have clothes like that but my mom dressed me as best as could be afforded.  I remember getting to the school and the boys were dressed up and the girls were in dresses and there I am with ratty jeans with frog knee patched sewed on them. I was a hot mess.

One of the biggest things was getting to sit with the teacher.  Back then it was a honor and kids who sat with the teacher were treated like they were the shit.

One thing about Mrs. Aycock was that she was a caring woman.  I never felt like she felt sorry for me.  I was a good student and smart.  She put me in class lead type roles like being in charge of games and stuff. 

The play was about to start and everyone was wondering who was going to get to sit by the teacher.  In shocking fashion, I was selected.  At the time I did not know why but I believe she understood where I was at in that world.  She knew the play and I believe she wanted to make a point.

The play was a similar story to The Little Drummer Boy.  It was about the 3 Kings and one of their stops while they were following the star.  They came upon a village full of people in fancy clothes and money with the exception of one family.  It was a poor family with a crippled little boy who walked with a crutch.  The 3 Kings told their story to the people about why they were taking these expensive gifts to the new born King.  The poor family had nothing to give but the boy spoke to the Kings and said all that he owned was his crutch.  He said he wanted them to take it to the new King so if he ended up crippled, he would have a crutch.  His gesture was recognized by the Kings and they told the boy that his gift was the greatest of all because it was everything the kid had.  As the kid left the Kings without his crutch, he fell to the ground.  The Kings told him that if he had faith, he would never need a crutch again.  The boy then rose to his feet and was healed.  Show ended.  Kids clapped, the adults were teary eyed.  I didn’t get it.

As we boarded the bus, Mrs. Aycock told me to sit next to her. Once again, I was the cat’s meow to the other kids. When we got back she asked me where my ride was and I told her my mom was across the street waiting.  She wasn’t because she was at work but I didn’t want her or the kids seeing that I had to walk home.  Mrs. Aycock then pulled me aside and told me the most influential thing said to me at that point in my life.  She told me that she wanted me to sit with her at the play because I deserved to sit on the front row.  She told me that she saw that play before and that I reminded her of the little boy.  I said I didn’t have a crutch. OF course I did not understand what she was saying at that moment.  She then went on to tell me that no matter how poor I may look or feel, that I had a place in the front but I had to work hard and sacrifice.

I thanked her and hugged her.  I went inside the school to use the bathroom and hid out until everyone was pretty much gone so I could walk home.  At the time there was a large field across the street that we had to cross to get to the sidewalk.  As I walked on that dirt path the story of the play and what she said made sense to me.  Granted I was in third grade but I did understand.  I remembered the kids being nicer to me because I got to sit with the teacher. I started to cry.  I cried and cried until I got to my neighborhood. I sucked it up and went home and played. 

Sadly, later in my life towards the end of my high school years, I found out that Mrs. Aycock passed away. Every time I felt isolated or less than, I always thought of her and her words to me. 



The other teacher was from my time in Junior High.  I went to Stephen F. Austin in Irving and by that time it was more diverse.  I played football and, even though we sucked, if you played football you were somewhat popular.  By this point my mom remarried and we lived in a better house and I had slightly better clothes.  We never had real money though so I never really got to participate in outside of school activities.  We just could not afford it at all.  I focused on my school work and I was a good student.  National Jr. Honor Society and all. 

One of my teachers was Mrs. Garrett.  She was an amazing teacher.  She was so involved with her students and was a leader in the school.  She was big on reading and always told us to get into books.  She always had us doing projects and artsy things.  She would sit and talk to her students and would really get to know them.

I was in band in 7th and 8th grade and always had to carry around my instrument case.  Even though I played football and was one of the “cool” kids, the other students really ripped on band kids back then.  It was brutal at times.  It’s like one minute I was cool and the next I was a dork.  It was weird.  Mrs. Garrett saw that treatment and was not going to sit by and let it continue.  Since she was the cool teacher, she would go to the band concerts then praise the band kids the next day in class to make them feel cool.  I was one of them.  She always told me that I was creative.  I would write book reports and she would always compliment me. 

She took care of our fragile egos during that time in our lives where they are the most fragile.  She was always supportive and would always have an open door for us to come talk with her or just hang out.  Since I could not do a lot of the cool things due to no money, she would always treat me like I was rich in many other ways.  She paid attention to my strengths and would help me to see that I had value as a student and as a person.  I grew so much from her teaching in class and about life.  She cared and she loved her job.  Even after I was gone, I would go back and visit with her to let her know how I was doing. She was that teacher that you would go back to see even after you moved on to the next level of education. 

She ended up leaving the school due to health issues and passed a few years after due to cancer.  I remember when I heard about it and I was heartbroken. 

I am a 48 year old man and I can still remember their faces, what they said to me and their impact on my life still happens to this day.  Both passed before their time and that breaks my heart.  I know if they were still here today, I would probably still be visiting them like I was still that little kid. I would tell them that every time I would train someone or mentor, it was because they believed in me and knew I would accomplish anything if I worked for it.

Teachers are amazing.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 20: RIP Georgie.

Had to put one of my mom's cats down today. His name was Georgie. A few years back my someone found him abandoned and called my mom.  He was tiny.  We had to feed him with a bottle since his mom abandoned him.  He survived that ordeal.



Georgie was the hunter cat. There was always a time where my mom would call me and tell me that there was a squirrel or bird in the house because Georgie caught it and brought it in.  He was nuts like that.




Georgie was one of my favorites of my mom's cats mainly because I could go outside and call for him and he would come running. He always let me hug him too.  He never bit me or scratched me.

Georgie got sick a few months back and almost died. My mom nursed him back. She would force feed him tuna and water.  He made a full recovery and was soon back to his old ways. A couple weeks ago he developed a cough.  It would come and go but got real bad yesterday.  He was having trouble and would wheeze so bad. I tried to catch him last night but he hid out under the bay window. He finally came out this morning and my mom took him to the Vet ER.  There was an issue with his breathing tube and it would not open so they had to stick a tube down his throat.  They ran his blood to see what was going on and it turned out that he had feline AIDS. They were testing for leukemia as well but the AIDS was enough to determine that we needed to put him down. 



He was suffering with the breathing issue and only surgery could fix it if his blood was clear.  I took Max back to see him and say his goodbyes.  Max was crying, as you can only imagine.  He loved Georgie.  Georgie was the cat that would always sleep with Max. I told him to pet Georgie one last time and he wouldn't.  But he then decided to.  It was hard for him but he was being brave.  I am proud of him. He has seen way too much in his young life and that sucks.  He is so sad right now but is putting on a brave face.



Georgie, we will miss you.  Your cat family is waiting on you at the Rainbow Bridge now. You go and have fun and play.  We will see you again.  Tell everyone hi from us and we love them.  We all love you too baby boy.


RIP Georgie


Friday, May 20, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 19: 3 Celebrity Crushes


In no particular order.

1. Rosario Dawson.  First of all, she would be the one I would want to marry.  I love me a Latina woman and she is just gorgeous and our kids would be awesome.  I have always said if we ever meet, she would fall in love with me immediately.  (Stalker talk? No? Yes? Ok maybe)





2. Kate Beckinsale.  First of all, to me, Kate Beckinsale is the single most beautiful woman on the planet. She has played a leather clad vampire to a Word War 2 nurse and pulls off any look she chooses.  She is perfection.






3. Kerry Washington.  Oh how I love her.  She is the dream girl.  First she is just the epitome of beauty.  Second, if you have ever seen her being interviewed on Kimmel or Fallon you would see that she is just amazing.  She is the one that would not just be eye candy on your arm, but she would be your best friend too.  She is the perfect woman inside and out.


Thursday, May 19, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 18: 50 Questions All About Me


1. Were you named after anyone? No. I am the only Richard in my family! Once they had this Dick there was no need for another. Boom

2. When was the last time you cried? Real cried was when my Stepfather died.  Lots of “man tear” moments.

3. Do you like your handwriting?  Not really.  My tagging skills are epic though.  Just check out any overpass for “ChunkyLuv” and judge for yourself.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?  Roast Beef.  I would say “Beefcake” but 1. That is a cake and 2. I can’t eat myself.

5. Do you have kids?  I did but they drowned this morning when I dropped them off at the pool.

6. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Of course.  I am awesome.

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot?  No. (sarcasm)

8. Do you still have your tonsils?  Yes.

9. Would you Bungee jump?  No.  I think parts of me would flop out and hit the ground.  In this, yes, I do mean my ween.

10. What is your favorite cereal?  Cap’n Crunch. 

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?  Nope.

12. Do you think you are strong?  I will say that I can bench my weight.  Not my weight now, my weight when I was SUPER FAT.

13. What is your favorite ice cream?  Mint Chocolate Chip

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?  Their hair.  I also look at how they carry themselves.

15. Red or pink?  Wtf with this one.  If you are talking meat, red. 

16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself? My ever growing forehead.

17. Who do you miss the most?  My dad.  I miss him  being around. 

18. What is the spark feature that has helped you the most? I have no idea what the question is asking so I will say boobs.

19. What color shoes are you wearing?  Flesh.

20. What was the last thing you ate?  Salmon and Mexican rice.

21. What are you listening to right now?  The TV and I farted really loud.

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?  Black. Like my soul.

23. Favorite smell?  Not number 22… but fresh baked bread.

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My sister.

25. Mountain hideaway or beach house? Beach house for sure. 

26. Favorite sports to watch?  On TV, college football (Boomer). In person, baseball.

27. Hair color?  Is tasty a color?  But black… still… at 48… and ask my hairdresser, no dye.

28. Eye color?  Shit brown.

29. Do you wear contacts? No, but I wish I had eye surgery.

30. Favorite food?  Anything Asian.

31. Scary movies or happy endings?  Depending on the girl I watch with I could get both. Badabinggggg!!

32. Last movie you watched?  “Last Vegas” such a great movie!

33. What color shirt are you wearing?  Gray.

34. Summer or winter?  Summer.  I am bikini ready. Man Thongin it!

35. Hugs for kisses?  Both. Duh!

36. Favorite dessert? Cheesecake. All dayyyy

37. Strength training or cardio?  Strength.  Can’t beat a bitch down by running.

38. Computer or Television?  TV is my life.

39. What book are you reading now?  Book? What is that?

40. What is on your mouse pad?  My mouse, dumbass.

41. Any tattoos?  Yes. 4 of them.

42. Favorite sound?  Slot machine bells.

43. Rolling Stones or Beatles?  Tough one but I will have to go with the Fab 4.

44. What is the farthest you have been from home this year?  Los Angeles.

45. Do you have a special talent?  I can tie 2 cherry stems together…. With my fingers. (Mind in the gutter much?)

46. Where were you born?  Baylor Medical Center Dallas.

47. Where are you living now?  I am livin like Thanksgiving… or Irving, TX.

48. What color is your house?  You tell me stalker.  But it is white.

49. What color is your car?  White with a black all glass roof.

50. Any pets?  Yep. 1 cat named Minx.  I am her pet apparently.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

30 Day Blog Challenge. Day 17: My Favorite Trip


There are so many great trips and memories that I can think of from going to Brazil back in 1987 to New York City 2 times and many, many roadtrips.  But the one that stands out is the one I went earlier this year.

I had just quit my job and needed to get away and clear my mind.  There were so many negatives going on so a nice roadtrip was needed. 

The trip started early on a Monday morning with the plan to drive to Surprise Arizona to see a Rangers Spring game.  Weather was great.  Not too hot and it was clear the whole way.  The freedom of being on the road is that you can do what you want, when you want and take all the time you want.  I have seen just about everything in Texas so it is usually just a straight drive as far as I can get before I need to stop to sleep.  I normally end up in Phoenix at about 3am Phoenix time but I was good on time.  Outside of El Paso rush hour, traffic was non-existent.  I ended up in Phoenix at about 9:30 pm.  They were 2 hours behind Texas time since AZ does not use Daylight Savings Time.  My problem at the time was that I did not have a Hotel.  I was thinking that, since I normally got there at 3am, that I would stop at the Casino there for a bit then sleep in my car, wake up and go get a hotel, then get out to the game, then back to sleep the night away.  Well that was not going to work since I made such good time.  I got on a Hotel website and searched hotels.  Surprise has 2 that are close to the ballpark.  The first was a Holiday Inn Express and the rooms were almost $300 a night.  No way in hell I am paying that for a Holiday Inn Express. There better be a happy ending that comes with that price.  The other was a Days Inn hotel that was about 6 miles from the Stadium.  That was about $36 a night.  So I set up 2 nights and went to it. 

The Days Inn. This was not the cream of the crop by no means.  I got there about 10:30.  The bar was closed and it was mostly industrial so there was nowhere to eat. I checked in.  Walked to my room with my bags and it smelled old.  Needless to say though, the room was big and comfy and clean.  I crashed out. I woke up around 10am and showered and drove right to the Ballpark. 

So parking was free and I parked right next to the Stadium.  It was full on Major League but with a high school sized feel to it.  I went and bought the closest seat I could get.  Cost $30 bucks.  I was behind homeplate, dead center and like 8 rows up.  I was on the last row in that section with a high cement wall behind me.  It was awesome.  I went and got me a $9 beer and a pretzel.  I was on the aisle seat and there was no one on my row when I got there.  Eventually a retired couple came and sat next to me. They asked me where I was from and of course I said “Irving, Texas”.  Turns out they were from Hurst and retired to Phoenix.  They were lifelong Rangers fans so they go to every Spring Training game.  They were so nice.  We cheered and laughed at people.  It was a great time.  I took great pictures and it was an amazing time.

So I go back to the Hotel and the bar was open.  I walk through the doors and enter into the classic Sports Bar.  It was actually amazing.  I sat at the bar and ordered a Blue Moon.  The bartender asked if I wanted a pint, a large or a pitcher.  I was like, “in Texas 1 person cannot get a pitcher, has to be 2”.  He looks at me and says “I bet you are glad you are not in Texas right now!”  So He brings me a pitcher of Blue Moon and a large beer with the glass full.  Once I poured my first beer from the pitcher he came and put a bad of ice in it the way Hooters does.  It was a good time.  I ended up ordering food and crawling back to my room since I was driving to LA the next morning. So I wake up and go to the Continental Breakfast.  It was toast and oatmeal.  Bonus was that the hotel was mostly all baseball fans so that was cool. Breakfast not so much.

So I pack up the car and start the trip from AZ to Los Angeles.  The drive to LA on I-10 is amazing.  There is no greater view than coming down the mountain into Coachella.  IT is beautiful on a clear day.  You see the valley of green farm land.  Amazing.

I made good time.  I ended up getting a room in a hotel in Calabasas.  I normally stay at the Best Western in Sherman Oaks but the room price there was double due to Spring Break.  Calabasas is about 12 to 15 miles west of there.  I booked at the Goodnite Inn.  I was concerned due to the price.  The room was like $40 bucks a night.  In Southern California. Close to Malibu.  Close to LA. This is a major concern.  So I am driving on the 101 to the hotel and it is up and down hills, green and beautiful.  I get to the hotel and it is right in between 2 office buildings.  The area was incredible. Outside my window was nothing but hills.  On the other side of the office building was a shopping center with a Starbucks, a Chipotle style place, a sushi bar and an extremely high end Albertsons.  The hotel was mostly business travelers for the offices nearby and road workers.  It was clear, quiet and safe.  The area was beyond words to the awesomeness. 

The next day was my Hollywood day.  I spend the day there taking pictures, eating at Mel’s and buying gifts for family and friends.  It was a nice day.  One of the best things about LA are my friends there.  My friend Meriam is there and she knows all the cool and trendy places to go.  We went to LA Live which is the must see place to go.  We went to the Americana, which is the Grove on steroids.  We ate amazing food and had great conversations. 

My single best friend in the world is Dianna.  We have not actually seen each other in a few years.  She is there, I am here.  She is busy 454543% of the day.  It just never works out.  This trip she was able to give me a day.  We went to Santa Monica pier, at a Bubba Gumps and drove through Malibu and through an amazing valley.  Later that night we went to the Target there in Sherman Oaks to buy some Easter stuff.  You have no idea what these adventures are like.  We are just plain goofballs in a store.  We had to have been there for over an hour.  It was hilarious.

My original plan was the drive the Pacific Coast Highway from LA to San Francisco. The next day I got to see my friend Dave.  Dave went to LA to get some help for some issues he was having and is now working there.  We ended up driving up the PCH for a bit and had sushi at a sushi bar on the coast.  It was good to see him doing well. 

The next day I decided to take a little drive up the PCH.  I got to Santa Barbara and decided that was as far as I wanted to go.  I ended up going back to the Hotel. 

The next day was my last in LA.  Dianna and I went to dinner at Casa Vega and just got to hang out. Those are the good moments.

So the next day was the trip to Las Vegas!  The drive was quick.  I was in Vegas last year with a friend and we stayed on Fremont Street.  When we were there I came across the band called Spandex Nation.  They did all hairband music from the 80’s.  I swore I was going to find them again on this trip.  Bonus about going last year was registering for a player’s card.  Once I did that, I started getting free room offers.  4 nights, 4 days of free meals and $75 bucks in free slot play.  So I decided to try it on this trip.  I checked in and got 4 free nights and a book of free meal tickets that were good at 4 casinos! I spent nothing on the room and food the whole time.

I was tired the first night and just decided to hang in the room.  Well my window faced Fremont Street and all I could hear was music.  Well I decided to go down and check it out.  It was SPANDEX NATIONNNNNN.  I got a beer and rocked out until 1am.  The next day I cruised Fremont and bought gifts and chilled.  That night I went and watched another band on Fremont.  The next night was Friday and Spandex Nation was playing the big stage from 8 to 1am.  I went back out and was at the front of the stage.  I met a local named Rob.  He saw that I was buying the $15 beers from the outdoor bar and asked why.  I said that was the only option I knew.  He was like noooo go to the souvenir store and they sell beer.  2 24 ounce beers for $5 bucks.  So I went and bought 2 beers.  Well they staple the bag closed with a warning label that says you cannot drink these beers on Fremont.  I go back and show Rob and he takes the bag, rips it open, pulled out the beers and tossed the bag in the trash.  He tells me to put one beer in my pocket and he pours the other into my empty glass.  Boom! This was the M.O. for the rest of my time. 

We planned to meet that next night for the Nation since they were playing again.  Same deal. Go to the store, get 2 beers, boom.  This was when we met Lisa Marie and her daughter Kimmy who were from Washington.  We were like the 4 horsemen of 80’s partying… it was so fun! My plan was to leave that next day, which was after my last free night but I drank a lot of beer… so I went back to the hotel and asked the cost to stay 1 more night. The cost was $30.  Bingo… booked.  So the next night I went back for Spandex Nation and there was Rob!  We texted Lisa Marie and Kimmy and they came out.  We would trade off getting beers.  We got drunk, again.  The show ended at midnight since it was Sunday night so we all went to a bar called Hogs and Heifers, which was the place they apparently modeled Coyote Ugly after.  We shut it down at 4am.  Rob took off earlier in the night and it was just me, Lisa Marie and Kimmy.  We decided to meet for brunch before I drove out. 

Not smart to plan a 20 hour drive early in the morning after drinking until 4am.  My checkout was at 11am and I woke up at 10:20… still drunk.  I took a shower and thankfully was already packed so I loaded the car and then went and checked out.  I called and texted Lisa Marie but she was out for the count.  I ended up sleeping in my car for like 3 hours before I decided to head home.  IT was rough.

I drove all day and only stopped for gas and bathroom breaks.  I made it to Amarillo at about 1am Texas time.  I was still on Vegas time so I thought I could make it.  The part of the roadtrip that sucks is the driver from Amarillo to Dallas.  It is not an interstate from there to here.  It is like a Farm to Market road and as soon as you speed up, you have to slow to 30 mph when you hit some small town.  I made it to just outside Wichita Falls and ended up sleeping at a rest stop.  The next morning I finished my trip and got home about 1pm.

Great memories, great new friends made.  Reconnected with other great friends.  It was all I wanted and needed in a trip!