Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Cup of Corn

I use to blog on myspace all the time. What happened to that... I was going thru them and found my most popular one... Thought I would share it here... Long live the blog.

This is from May 2, 2006

"Ok. This story is completely true

So I had a busy day planned Saturday. It was month end so I needed to get to work and I needed to get my car inspected and my friend Jen and I were going to meet for a margarita once she got off of work

Well I worked until 3:30 so I had time to go get the inspection done and be back to Don Pablos for margaritas by 5pm.

Ok, here is where the fun starts. I drive over to Lancaster Road (which is not the safest part of town) to a tire/inspection place I pull right in, pass off the keys to the guy and there goes my car into the inspection bay well I look over and there is a mobile food car so I am thinking mmmmmmmmmmmm they have snocones. Well I walk over to it and the lady slides open the little window and I make my snocone order.

"Hello, I would like a cherry snocone" (as I point to her sign) She looks at me with a dead stare "Hablas espanol?" (Oh great) So being the Mexican who cannot speak Spanish that I am I boldly say "A little"

So I order again and do the drinky drinky hand gesture. No luck. So I decide to cut my loss and order a coke. So I say "Coke" and do the hand thing again this time adding the hand across the forehead and the "ahhhhh" refreshing thing "Coke" "Coca Cola" (I mean come on I could go to the African bush and get a coke!!) So finally she smiles and says "si" Turns around and grabs a cup and goes over to a hot plate (Hey wait) and proceeds to fill this big cup with hot corn (yes I said hot corn). So I start with the "No, no, no". By saying that she apparently though that I mean that it was enough corn.

She turns and asks me in Spanish if I like (blank). Some word I didnt know. So seeing that I have lost this battle I said "a little" (and doing the two finger little signal). So apparently the word I didnt know was Mayonnaise. So she puts mayo on it.

By this time I am just grossed out! (What is wrong with my people?) So then she asked again if I like(blank) another word I didnt know. So I do the little bit deal again. So she then puts on a pile of parmesan cheese. (EEEK!) Then she asks again if I like... (blank) another word I didnt know. So finally I do the cut, cut hand gesture for NO! Thinking what could be next, a pigs foot or something? Then she holds up a bottle of hot sauce. (NO NO NO NO NO!). So she walks over and hand me this big cup of hot corn covered in mayo and parmesan cheese and a spoon and says in very clear english "two dollars". So not wanting to cause trouble since my car is being worked on, I pay and walk away. With the wind blowing cheese all over me from a cup that smells like old feet.

To my good fortune my car is done the guy walks over and hands me my keys and looks at my cup and says "that is good stuff". So me, being the polite guy I am, I say "well here, enjoy". He is like "really?" and I am "Hell yeah bucko, take a pull off that bad boy!"

So as I am passing off the cup of feet, a van pulls up and a guy and his kid hop out to get their van inspected. The little kid walks over to the food car, says something I could not hear and she hands him a cold bottle of coke! WTF did that kid say?! Damn that high school Spanish class! Damn you!!"

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